


Like You Were Never Here

by nesryn



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Gay Keith (Voltron), Lance (Voltron) Angst, Langst, M/M, Set sometime between season 4 and 5, Temporary Amnesia, the team forgets Lance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:01:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24994282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nesryn/pseuds/nesryn
Summary: "Hey, buddy, what's going on?" Lance asked, reaching for Hunk's shoulder.His hand went straight through as though there was nothing there.He yelped, jumping back and staring. What the hell?Lance looked around to the other paladins, but none of them reacted to the anomaly. In fact, it was like they couldn't see him at all. “Uh… guys?” Lance tried one last time. His eyes narrowed in on Keith, and before he could think he darted over to their leader and was waving a hand in front of his face. If this was some kind of sick joke, Keith would be the first to break. But no, the other paladin didn’t even blink. And when Lance tried to grab him, his hand just went straight through again.The realisation struck hard and fast. That was why he hadn't been able to operate Red, why everyone was ignoring him.He wasn't really there.- OR -After a battle with the druids, Lance wakes up in the Castle of Lions only to find that none of his friends are able to see him. Worse, they don't seem to remember him at all. His only hope is that someone will realise something is missing and try to find him if he can be brought back at all.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 89





	1. Chapter 1

Lance’s head felt like the inside of a drum.

The pounding made him feel fuzzy and delirious. “ _Ugh_ ,” he whined, reaching up to rub his eyes blearily. He’d kill for some space Advil right then. He froze as soon as he began to rub his eyes, slowly realising that he was in his paladin armour. What was happening?

He shot up, frantically looking around trying to piece it together. He was in Red but had no memory of getting there, of why he had been passed out in the cockpit of his lion. “Got any tips for me buddy?” He asked aloud, reaching for his bond with his lion. But even that felt… strange. Red was still there, and he could feel the lion radiating confusion and concern, but no concrete information. Lance pulled himself upright and into the seat, but when he reached for the controls there was nothing. They wouldn’t move. Red wasn’t responding. Right. Next step. “Uh, guys, can anyone hear me?” he asked through his helmet communications. Static was his only response. “Hello? This is getting super freaky over here.” Why wasn’t his lion working, and where were the others? Why couldn’t Lance remember how he got there?

Red’s jaw was open so Lance was able to climb out of the lion easily enough. Once on the hangar ground, he took stock. Looking himself up and down, there were no obvious injuries. His helmet was missing in action though, and when he tried he couldn’t summon his Bayard. Lance frowned, searching his mind for the memories. There was a mission. Earlier that… day? He wasn’t sure. But Pidge had found coordinates for a Druid research facility in her data hunt for her brother, and Allura had wanted to go after it. Keith, antsy with the lack of action lately, had leapt at the opportunity.

Lance remembered the briefing, going over the finer points of the plan with Keith and Shiro afterwards, but the attack itself he was drawing a blank. Had it already happened? He thought he remembered them leaving, flying towards planet Vanerth, but maybe he had passed out in Red before the mission and even now the team were waiting for him to show up. He couldn’t let them down!

Before Lance could jump back into Red, Allura’s voice came booming over the speakers. “Paladins, to the bridge immediately.” Lance let himself relax a little, not hearing any alarm in her voice, but still. She did say _immediately_. He ran to the open door out of the hangar and began to run through the long hallways of the Castle of Lions. As he did, he began to yell.

“Keith?” he called, eyes constantly scanning for any signs of his friends. “Pidge? Allura? Hunk?”

Finally, he came upon the bridge. Skidding to a halt, he spotted Hunk making his way down the hallway towards the doors. “Hunk, you’re okay,” he exclaimed, falling in step beside his friend. “Dude something weird is going on, I woke up in my lion—”

Hunk ignored Lance and went straight for the doors. Lance frowned, puzzled at his friend’s lack of response. “Hunk… Everything okay?”

No answer. Hunk didn’t even look up, just kept walking into the bridge with a tiny frown on his face. It was such a strange look on his best friend, and Lance hurried to catch up. All of the paladins, plus Shiro and Coran, were all there when they entered the bridge. All of them seemed a little… off. Allura and Shiro were in a deep conversation, both looking troubled. Coran had the mice on his shoulders while he tapped away at the castle controls, but he was way too quiet. Pidge was staring at the portable screen in her lap without moving. And Keith… their fearless leader was staring into space and not seeming to see anything. He almost looked lost.

“Guys, what happened?” Lance followed close behind Hunk, rubbing the back of his neck. “I can’t remember the mission. Did we go?”

No one answered him, but Keith looked up. He didn’t look in Lance’s direction, but he began to frown thoughtfully. Lance was starting to get annoyed. He knew he talked a lot, but seriously? Could someone answer just _one_ of his questions?

"Hey, buddy, what's going on?" Lance asked, reaching for Hunk's shoulder.  
His hand went straight through as though there was nothing there.

  
He yelped, jumping back and staring. What the hell?

Lance looked around to the other paladins, but none of them reacted to the anomaly. In fact, it was like they couldn't see him at all. “Uh… guys?” Lance tried one last time. His eyes narrowed in on Keith, and before he could think he darted over to their leader and was waving a hand in front of his face. If this was some kind of sick joke, Keith would be the first to break. But no, the other paladin didn’t even blink. And when Lance tried to grab him, his hand just went straight through again.

The realisation struck hard and fast. That was why he hadn't been able to operate Red, why everyone was ignoring him.

He wasn't really there.

“Oh god, oh god.” Lance clutched his stomach, nausea taking over. They couldn’t see him, why couldn’t they see him? It wasn’t even that he was invisible, he couldn’t touch them. And in Red, he had been able to grab the controls but couldn’t actually _move_ them. It was like he was…

A ghost. Oh, oh no. “Am I _dead_?” Lance whispered in horrified realisation. The mission… he couldn’t remember the fight on Vanerth, only their approach. Had he died and this was him haunting his friends as a freaking _ghost_? Honestly, not the outcome he would hope for. If he had to die shouldn’t he at least be at peace or something? Hadn’t he earnt that? He sank to the ground in despair, wrapping his arms around his knees. The team would be fine, he knew that. His talk with Keith had solidified that the team had extra paladins. But losing Shiro had nearly broken them apart, and Lance knew that even if he wasn’t Shiro they’d still be shaken by his loss. Especially since last they checked, Shiro still couldn’t bond with the Black lion. And his _family_. Oh god, who was going to tell them?

The sound of Keith’s voice broke Lance out of his spiral. “Shiro, Allura, you called the meeting. What’s this about?” The other boy looked more present now, and more grumpy. The usual Keith frown was present. Lance peered into his face trying to get some hint of his other emotions. He knew by now that Keith’s scowls were usually a mask for his real emotions. Was he grieving Lance? Or was he glad he was gone?

“We detected a rather peculiar energy surge from the planet Vanerth a few hours ago. The castle didn’t alert us about it until just now, but it appears to have been a fluke.”

“Are we still going to try infiltrate the base?” Pidge asked, pushing her glasses up her nose. “That energy surge could have been them preparing for the attack. Maybe they know we’re coming.”

Lance stood up, staring at Pidge in confusion. What did she mean were they _still_ going to attack? They already had. Lance being here all ghost-like was living—or not so living—proof of that!

Unless it was a second attack? Lance still couldn’t remember the details of the fight, so maybe something had gone wrong and they needed to attack again. But then why would Pidge be confused about them knowing they were coming? The paladins had only just attacked them, of course, the research facility on Vanerth would be ready for them.

The others didn’t look as confused as Lance felt. Shiro even smiled. “We did a new scan and the research facility has been abandoned. We could always go down and check it out, but without the Druids and their research there, there won’t be much point. They’ll have cleared everything out.”

“Whatever that energy surge was, it got us a break,” Hunk remarked, smiling widely. “Got to say I’m not mad about it. I have been enjoying this time off lately.”

Lance started, feeling a sting of betrayal. _Time off?_ Uh, hello? He had just _died_. Jeez, a little bit insensitive there buddy.

Pidge even smirked, glancing side-eye at Keith. “Yeah, such a shame thank Keith doesn’t have anything to beat up. Better luck next time.”

“Woah, Woah, Woah, are you guys seriously over my death _that_ quickly?” Lance remarked, despite knowing his friends wouldn’t hear him. Like, come on! He didn’t know how long he’d been out, but if they were still around Vanerth then it couldn’t have been for long. Yet here they were just picking themselves up and moving on like Lance hadn’t existed.

The thought struck a chord inside him, and Lance paused. A flicker of a memory, of a Druid’s face near his, blood dripping from its chin. _“You won’t break me,”_ Lance had growled.

“ _Oh? We’ll see how you feel when it’s like you never existed at all._ ” A flash of purple, and then… Nothing. Waking up in Red was the next thing he remembered. The others not seeing him, nothing reacting to his touch, everyone forgetting the fight on Vanerth…

Lance wasn’t a ghost. He didn’t know how, but the Druids had somehow erased his existence from the minds of everyone he loved. But he had to still be alive, right? Otherwise, why was he here, why had Red still reacted to his mind? His mind was here, but his body had to be alive somewhere.

Watching his friends discuss their next movements, Lance felt that creeping despair flare back up. What did it matter if his body was alive somewhere, presumably being held by the Druids? His friends didn’t know who Lance was. They wouldn’t remember to come to save him. The frustration became too much, and Lance reacted in anger.

“ _NO_!” With a scream, Lance punched the back of the chair near him, relishing at the pain. At least that was still real. Eyes closed, he could only feel the tears tracking their way down his face. It was hopeless. The Druids were right, this _would_ break him. Having to watch his friends fight to save the universe, all the while sitting here not being able to make them _see_ —

“Did… you guys hear that?”

 _Keith_. Beautiful, glorious, annoying _Keith_ was looking at Lance. No, that wasn’t right. Lance moved a few steps to the side and Keith’s eyes didn’t follow. But he had been looking in Lance’s direction.

Shiro gave the paladin a concerned look. “Hear what?”

“Did you hear something?” Hunk stage whispered to Pidge, who shook her head. But Keith was still looking to the spot where Lance had been standing. To where he’d punched the chair in frustration, and yelled. Even Allura looked troubled.

“… Nothing. Just hearing things I guess.”

The tears were still making their way down his face, but Lance ignored them for now. He watched Keith with a new sense of hope. Keith had to have heard him, or sensed his presence or whatever. Some kind of mumbo jumbo space magic but somehow, for a split second, Lance had made contact.

He could do this. He could make them see.

“Thanks, buddy,” he whispered to Keith, to his fearless leader. It didn’t matter that Keith wouldn’t hear it. Lance still meant it. “Thank you.”


	2. Chapter 2

Lance’s first night spent as a living ghost was shaping up to be long and lonely.

He spent hours wandering the halls of the Castle feeling neither tired nor awake. Apparently he didn’t need to sleep while he was like this. Not as exciting as it sounded. Lance was sure Pidge would appreciate the extra hours (he’d seen her finally traipsing off to her room long after everyone else had called it a night) but Lance didn’t know how to fill the time. There was no attempting to get someone’s attention when everyone was asleep.

The rest of the day he had tried in vain to get someone to see or hear him. Lance had screamed, yelled, whispered, teased, flirted—whatever he could think of—to no avail. After Keith’s brief encounter, no one noticed Lance.

He’d tried getting through to Hunk first. His best friend had been the first to leave the meeting. Lance dutifully followed Hunk to the kitchens, where he began to bake. His actions were missing their usual cheer, and Lance had known it was stress baking. Usually, he’d be able to crack a few jokes, try (and fail) to help Hunk with his baking, until it got to the point where Hunk was ready to talk. But he couldn’t do that this time. Didn’t stop him from trying of course. All his best jokes made an appearance, but still nothing from Hunk.

Lance hadn’t been sure what was wrong.

Hunk seemed pleased at the meeting when realising that they wouldn’t be going on a life-threatening mission. But as soon as that meeting was over his friend had retreated into himself the way he did when something was really wrong. This time Lance couldn’t help.

It had been hard to walk away from Hunk after failing to get through to him, but Lance knew he had to keep trying. He’d hunted down Pidge to where she was obsessing over leads to find Matt. Lance spent nearly a varga with her. Shiro and Keith were training together, so Lance didn’t bother with them. Even when he was physically there he wouldn’t be able to drag their attention away from that. Coran was similarly a failure. He tended to get hyper-focused while looking after the ship.

The closest he had come was dinner. Lance had traipsed in after Allura following a good half a varga spent trying to talk to her. He’d thought that maybe with all her space magic she might be able to sense him, but nada. Failure was putting him in a mood. The shitty mood only worsened upon the realisation that he wouldn’t be able to gorge on comfort food. Still, he wanted to be in the room with all his friends. He couldn’t talk to them, but Lance didn’t want to be alone.

He hadn’t been thinking when he took his usual seat between Hunk and Keith. Even as he sat down, Lance realised the futility of his choice. His friends wouldn’t leave an empty seat between them—someone was going to fill it. And he’d rather they didn’t sit _on_ him, thank you very much. They might not be able to feel it but it would still be weird as hell for Lance. Better to just wait until they were all sitting down, then pick from the remaining seats.

Except… none of them sat in Lance’s spot. He hovered beside the seat, watching as they each filed into their usual seats—clapping his hands together in excitement when his was left empty. They had left a spot for him! Sliding back into the chair, Lance ran through the possibilities in his mind. Of course, it could be a coincidence that the spot was left empty. Or maybe some kind of muscle memory? They just were used to those chairs and naturally went to them. No indication that some part of them remembered Lance, right?

That wasn’t all though. All through dinner, Lance watched his friends look to where he sat, ready to talk, only to fall silent when they forgot who they were meant to be talking to. When Hunk and Pidge began to talk science garble with Coran, Lance even saw Keith roll his eyes and smirk in his direction—only for the smirk to slide right off to be replaced with a confused frown. The two of them _always_ shared a laugh anytime they didn’t understand what the others were saying. That was their thing! Lance couldn’t help but feel pleased that Keith was still trying to do it, even when Lance’s existence had been erased.

His good mood had quickly disappeared into the night when everyone disappeared into their rooms. Lance couldn’t follow, not unless he wanted to be trapped in their tiny rooms with them. _Creepy_. So, there he was aimlessly wandering the halls searching for something to keep him entertained.

The thing that was bothering him the most about this situation he’d found himself stuck in was that Lance still didn’t know for sure how it happened. He had that vague memory ( _like you never existed at all_ ) and figured that he had been tortured at some point.

But by who? And how?

It seemed fair to assume it was a Druid. The base on Vanerth had been a Druid research centre after all. But Lance couldn’t remember it. Couldn’t remember infiltrating the base, why their stealth mission had turned into an all-out fight, or even how he had been _erased_.

Honestly, Lance couldn’t even remember why they had been going after the base in the first place. Had they been given a tip by one of their allies? Did Pidge think the base could hold her family? It was like the harder Lance tried to remember anything surrounding the event, the further out of reach those memories were.

When Lance had figured out what was happening, he’d assumed he was still alive somewhere. That this was some kind of sick Druid experimentation. After all, what better way to ensure they’d be able to keep him around to question if his rescuers didn’t remember him?

But maybe that was a false hope. Red could feel his mind, sure, but Lance didn’t know how quintessence worked. Maybe he was just a ghost and she could feel that.

Ugh. His head hurt just to think about it. Lance wasn’t the one in the know about all this space magic. He wished he could talk to Allura, to try to wrap his head around what was happening.

With no way to keep track of time, Lance had no idea how late (or early) it was when he heard footsteps echoing behind him. Turning, Lance was surprised to see Keith. The other paladin was bleary-eyed, hair messier than usual (but seriously did Keith know what a hairbrush was?), dressed only in his jeans and t-shirt. Despite his obvious exhaustion, the boy was clearly on a mission. Keith marched past Lance the same way he marched everywhere, and it didn’t take Lance long to realise he was headed in the direction of the hangars.

Lance had tried going back to Red after realising what was happening in the hopes of her passing along a message to the paladins but had been met with more confusion. Red could sense Lance but couldn’t quite figure out who he was. Whatever the Druids had done had gotten in the way of their connection. The new distance with his lion was heartbreaking, and so he’d quickly abandoned that.

Now Keith was headed for Red’s hangar himself. “What are you up to?” Lance wondered aloud, jogging after him.

Keith didn’t know what he was doing.

All he knew was he hadn’t been able to sleep properly. Something had him on edge. The same something that had been bugging him all afternoon. He couldn’t put a finger on it but something was off. It had him looking over his shoulder, waiting for things that weren’t going to happen, and it was pissing him off. Then, in the middle of tossing and turning, he’d felt Red.

His old lion had been giving him the silent treatment since his change to Black, but for whatever reason, she was calling out to him now. Not raising an alarm or anything, but she felt distressed. Keith had given sleep up as a lost cause and decided to investigate.

The walk to the hangar put Keith on edge and he wasn’t sure why. In the elevator down to the lower levels, his eyes kept drifting to the empty space beside him for no reason. It was confusing. His whole day had been a confusing mess. Maybe he was just paranoid about the elevator breaking down again. Keith couldn’t help a brief smile, remembering the mess that had been. Remembered the annoyance he’d felt having to try to climb out with—

Wait. Who _had_ he been stuck with?

Keith shook his head violently, getting the thought out of his head. This had been his problem all day. Thoughts trailing off, stopping mid-sentence. He kept forgetting who he was going to talk to, or about. Maybe he should get Coran to check him out. Probably one too many hits to the head recently. Or something.

Setting eyes on the Red lion filled him with instant relief. It always did. No matter what happened with the Black Lion, Red was his original lion. It always made him smile to look out from the cockpit to see that flash of colour on his right.

“What’s going on girl?” Keith murmured, placing a hand against the lion.

He could feel the uncertainty radiating through their mental link. Red didn’t seem to _know_ what was wrong.

“Not exactly helpful.” He sighed deeply, sliding down to the floor in front of her. “You know, now that Shiro’s back, he’s probably going to take over the Black lion again. Might be time for me to come back.”

A flash of deja vu. Keith had talked about this inevitability with someone already. But who?

Keith _felt_ more than he heard the Red lion growl. It caused him to physically recoil. “Hey, what’s wrong?” Keith frowned, feeling more than a little hurt. “Don’t you want me anymore? I know I left to pilot Black, but we needed Voltron—”

Another growl, this time accompanied by a mental message. Keith could tell what Red was trying to say, but it confused him more than anything else.

 _I have a paladin_.

Keith opened his mouth to argue, but the words froze him up.

Because… Red was right. Keith had piloted Black so they could form Voltron, but that would have left Red without a paladin. So how had they been forming Voltron in Shiro’s absence?

The pounding in his head made itself known, and it felt like a warning. Keith ignored it, searching his mind. Allura had joined the team after Shiro vanished, sure, but she had become the Blue paladin, not the Red. So who had become the Red one?

It had to be Allura right… She had joined the team after Keith went to Black. So she must have been in Red, then went to Blue when they found Shiro. But why didn’t he remember that? Why did he only remember her piloting the blue lion?

And if Allura had only been a paladin since Shiro had been missing, then she couldn’t have been flying the Blue lion before that. There was another paladin.

Keith scrambled upright, staring at the Red lion in horror. His old lion had been privy to his chain of thought, and he felt her starting to calm with his realisation. She didn’t say anything, but her silence only made Keith believe he was right.

Because that was it. Somehow, there was someone else on their team. Whoever it was had to have been the one to fly Blue off Earth, to fight as the Blue Paladin until Keith became the leader. Now they piloted Red. That had to be it.

But why didn’t Keith remember them?

“Who piloted the Blue Lion?”

**Author's Note:**

> buckle up for pain


End file.
